Lemonade award

Thank you so much to Cheshire wife who has awarded me this lovely award for great attitude and gratitude.

I would like to honour my good friend Renie, who has a fabulous attitude to life. Read her adventures in the ice storm. What a great lady. I just know if I lived nearer, we would get on like a house on fire.

Blog slacking

My good and absent friend TM used this wonderful term for not making entries or reading other people's blogs. Blogslacker- that is what I am!

We have a lot on at the moment and all of it is wonderful.

The businesss is very busy ( Thank God in this current climate).

We are moving into wonderful offices this week - kitchen in on Monday, carpets on Wednesday and furniture on Thursday and Friday.

Other half's hypnotherapy suite is ready, and the loo is in too ( very important eh??). We have worked so hard for this to happen and it all seems like a dream. I am very excited about it.

My diet is going well. I am walking and swimming to help with toning, and sorting out my wardrobe.

My clothes are long and flowing, and loose fitting and it will take me a while to think about the possibility of dressing differently. I can't imagine tight fitting or tailored clothes. I will need hauling out of that mind set.

I am already in clothes two sizes smaller... unbelievable really.

We are preparing physically and emotionally for teenager's trip away to Australia. There is lots to do. While he is away we are replacing windows in his bedroom and completely re-decorating it. It is long, long overdue. We are doing the same with the spare room which has been an office for years now. Soon it will be empty of office stuff, and will be a proper bedroom again

All in all, there is a lot going on. It's great, and I am enjoying every minute of it. I am not going to have a blogging break as such, but expect to see a little less of me until the move is all done. Photos as soon as possible!

Sigh... snow stops play... again

I am back from my business trip, and had planned to get weighed tonight in Preston. I couldn't go to class on Tuesday so I needed the spur...

BUT IT SNOWED. AGAIN.

So, undefeated and undaunted I decided to go to Boots to see how it is all going. Different scales so caution ...

However, it was looking good. Looks like another four pounds. Hope so. Might not get official confirmation til next Tuesday at the next class.

That's twenty one pounds altogether. One and a half stone. Whoopee!

out and about

Busy week over here Durham and Darlington and no time to blog much or even read others. I guess there will be lots for me to enjoy at the weekend.

I am back home on Thursday after weight in at Preston. I can't wait. I have been a saint.

Started very early today so I am finishing at two and going shopping to the metro centre with mum. I can't wait!

A couple of motivational purchases perhaps? I think so.

Cake or bed?

A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL MATCH WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS, 'HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY? IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW.'

HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY, 'FIX THE LIGHTS NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE 'POWERGEN' WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?I DON'T THINK SO!'

'FINE!' THEN THE WIFE ASKS, 'WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT' TO WHICH HE REPLIED, 'FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE 'FRIDGIDAIRE' WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO!'

'FINE!' SHE SAYS 'THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS TO THE FRONT DOOR? THEY ARE ABOUT TO BREAK' 'I'M NOT A CARPENTER AND I DON'T WANT TO FIX STEPS',

HE SAYS, 'DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE 'TAYLOR WOODROW' WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS, I'M GOING TO THE PUB!!!!'

SO HE GOES TO THE PUB AND DRINKS FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS................

HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES TO GO HOME AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES THAT THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED. AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE , HE SEES THE HALL LIGHT IS WORKING AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.

"HONEY", HE ASKS, 'HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?'

SHE SAID, 'WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT OUTSIDE AND CRIED. JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM. HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE.'

HE SAID, 'SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE?'

SHE REPLIED, 'HELLOOOOO.., DO YOU SEE 'MR KIPLING' WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO!' ?

Big Brother is watching you... and nagging you

This is unbelievable. I am aghast.

Last Saturday we went ten pin bowling in Preston which is about sixty miles from here.

This morning other half received a letter from Preston police. It was headed ' Preventing vehicle crime in Preston'.... then our registration number.

It went on to say:

... the above vehicle, registered in your name, was recently observed on 31st January 2009 @ 18.20hrs on the car park at Lakeside Superbowl, Preston, Lancashire, with a Sat Nat holder ( note holder!!) left on display... thus rendering the vehicle vulnerable'

There is then two pages of nagging, advising, finger pointing and lecturing. It is unbelievable.

Just as well other half was there with me, and teenager, and not with some fancy woman......otherwise he would be well in the mire.

Be warned, all of you who go where you should not be....BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU.

Swimming and Classical Islam Class

I have had a nice day today. I went swimming with my friend this morning ( half eight in the morning- applause please) and did lots of lengths.

I am hoping this will help with tonight during the rapid weight loss period.

We had coffee and a chat afterwards, and I really enjoyed it. I intend to go again next week.

I then went down to university and went to my Classical Islam class. It was really interesting. I am struggling to keep up with the reading but I enjoy going anyway for the debate and discussion. I pick up loads of interesting bits and pieces.

I bought a couple of books at Waterstone's ( about Islam) and I intend to have a bath tonight with lovely bath oil , followed by head stuck in the books.

Mothers

I thought this was fun. In fact, my mum wasn't like this at all.... well except for number nine. I do remember that one!!
Hi Mum!




1.?My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.?
> "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
> cleaning."?
>
> 2.?My mother taught me RELIGION.?
> "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."?
>
> 3.?My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL?.?
> "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
> next week!"?
>
> 4.?My mother taught me LOGIC?.?
> "Because I said so, that's why."?
>
> 5.?My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.?
> "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going
> to the shop with with me."?
>
> 6.?My mother taught me FORESIGHT.?
> "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."?
>
> 7.?My mother taught me IRONY?.?
> "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about "?
>
> 8.?My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.?
> "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."?
>
> 9.?My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .?
> "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"?
>
> 10.?My mother taught me about STAMINA.?
> "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."?
>
> 11.?My mother taught me about WEATHER.?
> "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.."?
>
> 12.?My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.?
> "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't
> exaggerate!"?
>
> 13.?My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE?.?
> "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."?
>
> 14.?My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.?
> "Stop acting like your father!"?
>
> 15.?My mother taught me about ENVY.?
> "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
> have wonderful parents like you do."?
>
> 16.?My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.?
> "Just wait until we get home.."?
>
> 17.?My mother taught me about RECEIVING?.?
> "You are going to get it when you get home!"?
>
> 18.?My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE?.?
> "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck
> that way.."?
>
> 19.?My mother taught me ESP.?
> "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"?
>
> 2 0.?My mother taught me HUMOR.?
> "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."?
>
> 21.?My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT?.?
> "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."?
>
> 22.?My mother taught me GENETICS.?
> "You're just like your father."?
>
> 23.?My mother taught me about my ROOTS?.?
> "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"?
>
> 24.?My mother taught me WISDOM.?
> "When you get to be my age, you'll
> understand."?
>
> 25. And my favorite:?My mother taught me about JUSTICE?.?
> "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!!!!
>

Lettuce

A man walked into the vegetable section of his local supermarket and asked for half a head
of lettuce.

The boy working there told him that they only sold whole heads of
lettuce.

The man was insistent that the boy asked his manager about the matter.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some tosser
wants to buy a half a head of lettuce."

As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added,

"And this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half."

The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way.

Later, the manager found the boy and said, "I was impressed with the
way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who
think on their feet here. Where are you from son? "

"Originally from Essex sir," the boy replied.

"Why did you leave Essex ?" the manager asked.

The boy answered, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and footballers
there."

"Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Essex "

"No shit!" the boy replied. "Who does she play for”

Two ladies talking in heaven

Two Ladies Talking in Heaven

1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda

2nd woman: Hi! I'm Sylvia. How'd you die?

1st woman: I froze to death.

2nd woman: How horrible!

1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?

2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV

1st woman: So, what happened?

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking.I ran up into the attic and searched,and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds.I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.

1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we'd both still be alive.

Tuesday

Three weeks into my diet. Loss this week -six pounds.

Total- one stone, three pounds. Hurray!!

It's tough, but it's worth it.

terms and conditions

MEMO : TO ALL EMPLOYEES

Effective Immediately

DRESS CODE

1. It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes, a Giorgio Armani suit or carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a pay raise.

2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.

3. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a pay raise.

SICK DAYS

We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

HOLIDAY DAYS

Each employee will receive 52 personal days a year of holidays. They are called Sunday.

TOILET USE

1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minutes limit in the cubicles.

2. At the end of the three-minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle door will open, and your picture will be taken.

3. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company's notice board under the 'chronic offenders' category

.4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.

LUNCH BREAK

1. Skinny employees get 30 minutes break for lunch, as they need to eat more so that they will look healthy.

2. Normal size employees get 15 minutes break for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

3. Chubby employees get 5 minutes break for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a 'slim-fast.'

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember, we are an employer of choice and we are here to provide positive employment experience.Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternations and input should be directed elsewhere.

Santa's little helpers

Isn't this a wonderful photo? My friend Sue opened her front door on Christmas day, and her mum and dad had arrived full of festive spirit!

Sue says she laughed for a long time... and this picture cheers me up every time I see it.

Sheer Class! Brilliant.

Bowling Balls

Friday nights and Saturdays are usually our time for relaxation, family time and fun. This usually involves some element of food. Eating out, cooking, going to friends for supper, or a take away. And of course- wine.

In an effort to avoid food type activity while I am on my strict diet, we are doing different, more active things. Challenging in this weather, on dark nights and in the Lake District. However, undaunted we went bowling yesterday. We have to go out of county for this.

A good time was had by all. Teenager's prowess at bowling is improving every time we play. He is finding a good technique. Other half is the usual power strategy- heaviest ball at top speed in an effort to obliterate all the skittles. I just hope they go down the side alleys and miss everything ( heh heh). I am slow but consistent. Not many glory moments but as the hare and the tortoise I often win.

What really made me interested though.... I can't manage the heaviest bowling balls during my game BUT........I have several of the heaviest ones to lose as weight on my own body. I spent the whole night converting the ball weights into pounds, and then correlating this to my own weight loss goals. It was an extremely sobering experience. The weight I carry must be having a huge impact on my joints - I am carrying that extreme weight around me with every day. In fact- I have already got rid of a whole bowling ball in weight.

Incredible!

anyone had one of those days?