Isn't this a great shot of Derwentwater? I love the lighting
I am finally home. Arrived back from hospital on Sunday night after one of those 'will I ever get out of here?' difficult mornings. I was in there for eighteen nights.It was a five hour journey and mercifully it went pretty well. I slept for most of it.
It sounds like a long time but it went pretty fast. I remember very little of the first week particularly, I was in ICU for most of that. All I can remember of that part really is hallucinations, and Pete visiting and having to wear a pale pink apron which caused some smiles amongst the family. ICU ( intensive care unit) is like Star Wars. Just a lot of screens and machines and wires. It is very alien and odd. The care is one to one 24 hours, and so specialised. Like being a new baby again.
One morning two teams of doctors came in at the same time. I was drifting in and out of the scenario, but i remember it well because there were so many of them, and all I could see were peering faces. I felt like 'exhibit a'. Two of the more senior doctors were having a disagreement about something. I forget what now. Lots of people were loading notes in laptops. Most of the doctors didn't look much older than teenager to me. All peering at my wounds and discussing them.
I was lucky regarding the aforementioned hallucinations. They were very weird but I wasn't frightened by them which I think can happen to some people. Caused by all the different medicines and drugs, they sure do alter the mind. I told my mum (who was with me during the ICU period bless her heart- just sitting patiently with me) that the nurses bay outside was a toy shop, a book shop and then a chocolate shop. I then decided it was a library. I could see a lot of space type figures wandering around (especially stormtroopers), and I also decided that we are all really IPODs and all we need to get better at things is to be upgraded regularly ( i.e. - if you want to be a tennis pro, get an upgrade. Learn Italian? Get an upgrade etc). It would be good if life was as easy eh?
It must have been hard for the family to make sense of me making sense of my world in there. Other than the strange visions, I also used to use the wrong words to describe what I wanted, and would regularly fall asleep mid sentence, totally denying that we were on the subject when I woke up again.
The operation I had was huge. I can't really say exactly what it was because the title is a paragraph long full of latin phrases. I did ask for a short version and was told the nearest is ' a total right side pelvic re-section'. I think that will do. It sounds general and large scale enough. Lots of people do ask about it and its good to have a simple short reply- not that it really explains a lot. Lots of slicing, strimming, removing, and painstaking work. Oh yes- and I now have no bladder. This will be a different post altogether ( I bet you just can't wait). The tumour has completely gone. That was the complex bit- so near the sciatic nerve and 'involved with' so many different parts of the area, it is a miracle they got it.
Those of you with a less medical disposition can avoid the 'no bladder' post but I want to be honest and open about it all in the hope it may help someone else in my position. Anything that supports someone else is worth writing about. If it raises awareness and helps us all know and appreciate what others are dealing with, or could be, then it's worth writing about it. As regards the bladder I wasn't sorry to see the back of it. I had done me great service but latterly it was causing me some really big problems. It had to go and I have accepted it. Now I have something caused a urostomy bag. Another post that one. I was told I may end up with a colostomy bag but didn't in the end: that was very fortunate. I was pleased when I woke up and found out.
So now I am waiting for the district nurse. The post surgery/ wound dressing circuit that I am sure a few of you maybe familiar with. This afternoon the stoma (urostomy support) nurse is coming to see other half and I. That will be good. We would like some help- it is a lot to take in and learn.
And I will relax like I did yesterday. Spend time with my beloved mum ( she is bringing me a latte in from Costas!), hang out with teenager who is on half term, read blogs and play on facebook. And most of all enjoy looking out of the window at the autumn colours, appreciating that I am alive and feeling better every day. Thanking God.