Tuesday, 30 September 2008
An old Cherokee chief teaching his grandson about life.
''A terrible fight is going on inside me. The same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person too.
It is a fight between two wolves.
The first wolf speaks to me of evil--anger, guilt.shame,envy,resentment,self-pity,dishonesty,self-doubt and ego.
The other wolf speaks to me of good--joy,peace,love,serenity,self-confidence,courage,kindness,humility,generosity,truth,compassion and faith.
Wide-eyed,the young boy thought about this, then asked his grandfather:"But which wolf will win?"
The old chief simply replied,"The one I feed."
Sunday, 28 September 2008
THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES Six men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks. Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes. They will also attend cubs, brownies, sea cadets or similar.There is no fast food. Each man must:take care of his 3 children, keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, and complete science projects, also, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of 'pretend' billswith not enough money. In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week. Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time--no emailing. Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment. He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to A & E He must also make gingerbread men or choc chip cakes for a social function. Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times. The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done. The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, adorn themselves with jewellery, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep fingernails polished and eyebrows groomed. During one of the six weeks,the men will have to endure severe abdominal pain, persistent lower back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings, but never once complain orslow down from other duties. They must attend weekly school meetings, concerts & plays, church, and find time at least once a week, to spend the afternoon in the park or a similar setting. They will need to read a book to the kids each night and in the morning, feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair by 7:00 am. A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight,shoe size, clothes size, teachers name, best friends name and doctor's name. Also the child's weight at birth, time of birth, and length of labour, each child's favourite colour, middle name, favourite snack, favourite song, favourite drink, favourite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up. The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The last man wins only if...he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouseat a moment's notice. If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years eventually earning the right To be called Mother!
Saturday, 27 September 2008
You see the real difference is inside you. In fact, the difference IS you. Someone once said, “The magic is not in the products. The magic is not in the literature. The magic is not in the film. There isn’t a magic meeting, but the magic that makes things better is inside you, and personal growth makes this magic work for you.
The magic is in believing. The magic is in daring. The magic is in trying. The real magic is in persevering. The magic is in accepting. It’s in working. The magic is in thinking. There is magic in a handshake. There is magic in a smile. There is magic in excitement and determination. There is real magic in compassion and caring and sharing. There is unusual magic in strong feeling and you see, all that comes from inside, not outside. So, the difference is inside you. The real difference is you. You are the major key to your better future.
Wednesday, 24 September 2008
Sunday, 21 September 2008
We traded stories about our early years experiences, and I it reminded me of how far I have travelled since that time in my own life, where I found motherhood like a different planet. I hadn't ruled kids in or out and it wasn't until I met other half that I seriously considered a baby as an option. This was at the grand old age of twenty seven. Until then I was a career girl: successful, ambitious and confident in my work.
I went to an all girls school where qualifications and careers were the order of the day. We talked about marriage 'one day perhaps' but kitchen and potty issues were never mentioned. We were focussed on qualifications, university and the career ladder. Articulate, focussed and confident we blazed a trail across the professional landscape....
So... when the pregnancy test proved positive and the bump started to grow, I was jettisoned into a different world... and it felt really odd. I was excited and thrilled but daunted and puzzled. Where would I start? What sort of my mother would I be? Could I make a success of it? The most important customer of my life- would I make the grade?
Well I suppose the one to ask would be teenager and I have come to the conclusion that he is the only one that matters in all this really. I used to worry about what people would say about my baby. Was I looking after him properly, feeding him properly, keeping him clean, was I playing enough, reading enough, making him nutritious and healthy food etc?
All I can say to him, and to any interested onlooker: I did my very best. In the world of NLP we talk about 'people doing the best with the resources they have got'. And I did. I really tried. And it didn't come naturally to me. But I tried and I did the best with the resources I had.
I will never be described as an earth mother.I really admire people with those skills and I would defend their right to be stay at home mums with a vengeance. I think it is an important and valuable job. But is wasn't for me, and I have ( finally ) come to terms with it.
Circumstances would have made it hard for me not to continue my work and my development. A lot of mums are in this position I think. The truth is even if circumstances would allowed it, I wouldn't have honoured myself and my gifts if I hadn't had my work. I have never been a domesticated person, and my patience with small children is very limited. I was so fortunate to have loving and patient grandparents on hand to play and read stories when I worked, and I felt happy to do it when I had the opportunity, knowing that I was being true to my own strengths and goals.
I may not have chosen to stay at home, making home made food, playing and creating. I was able to do some of this, but too much of it would have been frustrating for the whole family including toddler. It would not have brought out the best in me, and therefore not in my son.
I have been thinking about what sort of a mother I have been. I think the best gift I have given teenager is a lot of love and support ( and I bet most mums will put their hands up to that one), and opportunities. If he never walked out the house again he has experienced and seen more things than most people see in a lifetime. He has travelled widely, been to a lot of fabulous sports events, has learnt how to sail, ride, swim long distances. kayak, play in football and rugby teams, and even go to a baseball camp in Chicago! Next year he goes to Melbourne in Australia for ten weeks on a school exchange: something he has wanted to do for a long time now. He is looking forward to it with confidence and excitement.
Confidence, independence and a curious, loving spirit were my goals for my child.
For me: it doesn't get better than that.
Saturday, 20 September 2008
Tomorrow teenager has a rugby match somewhere in the hinterlands of Cumbria. My mum and I are taking him, so it will be up and at 'em by eight.
I do like to be up early in the morning- anyone else the same? My brain is in a good place, fresh and creative, and there are no interruptions. I am definitely a morning person and always have been. When my pals were getting ready to go clubbing, I was stirring the hot chocolate and heading for the duvet.
Like to catch up on recorded tv in the early hours too. Have just watched the first episode of ' Tess of the D'urbervilles, the new BBC production. Nicely shot but it is SO depressing...have decided not to continue watching it... I loved the book but don't think I can bear watching the serial.
Anyone else watching the Tudors? Jury is out on this one for me. It all seems very modern looking : the actors look very 21st century, like people dressed up to look like kings, queens and courtiers... and I suppose the idea is you get past that and become submerged in the atmosphere and it isn't working for me at least.
On the subject of Henry 8th I finally saw ' the other boleyn girl' the other night when staying in the hotel. I enjoyed it but it isn't a patch on the book ( sorry cliche time!). If you haven't ready it, I strongly recommend it. The author is Phillipa Gregory.
'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.'
'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'
A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselveswhether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.
The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
(THIS GETS BETTER!)
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
The women won.
Wednesday, 17 September 2008
( On the right - when I win the lottery or clinch that deal.... the Jaguar FX)
I will declare my shameful behaviour on my blog! I accept that I have become a pampered pet where cars are concerned.
My car is currently snuggled in the garage with the engineer trying to sort out a recurring gear box problem. While he is taxing his brain, I have a courtesy car for my business trip this week.
Those who know me know that I love cars. When I win the lottery ( note: positive mental attitude) I will sit down and a)be sensible about investing and b) philanthropic in intent ONCE I have been to the garage to buy a new state of the art sleek sexy fast Jaguar sports car ( top of the range, leather, wooden steering wheel, ). Sigh. Anyway...
A girl has to have her pleasures.......
Monday, 15 September 2008
Sunday, 14 September 2008
Teenager went off on his own with pals after a pizza with mum and dad ( we have uses) and other half and I watched the procession from our vantage point on the high street. Well done to everyone who took part- a community occasion for great causes: CancerCare, St Mary's Hospice, Derian House Children's Hospice and Bay Search and Rescue. Hope they raised a ton of money.
Pity about some of the drunken behaviour of the idiot minority ( there were a couple of arrests). I am afraid the event clashed with the usual Saturday night 'festivities' in Kendal but the police seemed to be keeping a close eye: shame they have to isn't it?
Saturday, 13 September 2008
Last night he was at his friend's birthday sleepover. Other half and I had relaxing meal out at http://www.jerichos.co.uk/ in Windermere ( food bloggers- take a look at the menu) and walked back back down the hill to Bowness. Picture above- it's a restaurant with rooms...
Teenager turns up at eleven am and starts talking about going to the Kendal Torchlight Procession. Something that happens every year and we have never been. Shameful.
Thursday, 11 September 2008
Wednesday, 10 September 2008
Just a quick post on the way to sunny ( yes-it is today) Crook in County Durham. You can see Crook on the previous post on the map. It is very high up! Not too far from Corbridge where I am staying, in the wilds of County Durham.
My dad was born in this area, in Stanley, and I like visiting Durham because I feel as if a piece of me belongs here. He was brought up in Tanfield Lea. Sadly I am not in touch with any of his family ( if there are any here) so I have no-one to visit. I intend to do much more research into the family tree when I have some time ( famous last words?).
I couldn't get access when I first arrived : they had forgotten to switch the router on. Maybe there isn't a great demand for it in this branch yet! Anyway, I had collected enough coffee points on my little card to get a free cappucino: how cool is that? Simple pleasures- and yes-I probably need to get out more!
Tuesday, 9 September 2008
Sunday, 7 September 2008
Saturday, 6 September 2008
Friday, 5 September 2008
Wednesday, 3 September 2008
Tuesday, 2 September 2008
They have sacked Kevin Keegan.
I don't know the in's and out's and apparently it's not official- but if it is true all I can say- DOES ANYONE EVER GIVE THE FANS A THOUGHT IN THESE PLACES?
Monday, 1 September 2008
We are now organising sports bags ( one for rugby, one for watersports, one for football, one for tennis, one for hockey), school bags ( maths set, pencils, water bottle, calculator et al), school shoes and new trousers....
I am off to my wonderful friend A's house. She does my name tags. Mrs Practical I am not. Not even a name tag. She does it for me. It is less painful for everyone. As she says, I have other gifts....
Anyone out there who has more than one child, I really admire you. I find sorting out one quite enough. Sigh