Saturday, 31 January 2009

used car

I saw this blog on Bragger's page and it is called Do these shoes match this purse?

What a great name for a blog.

Anyway we are invited to write about a variety of things and one of them is ' a used car'.

This is very much at the front of my mind. I bought my car ( used) about fifteen months ago. I really do love it. However, the last six months it has spent more time in the garage than on our drive. Last night I broke down on a roundabout ( great idea in rush hour). After much stress and being helped by good friends it has been towed ( a transporter in fact) away yet again. This time: gearbox fault, parkbrake fault, and hideous squeaking noise under the driver's seat. Sigh.

Another courtesy car on the drive. The neighbours must think we are mad.

Gracious Hostility

Church Bulletins. They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins!

Thank God for churchladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS)actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.

Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir.

They need all the help they can get.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.Music will follow.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to berecycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainmentand gracious hostility.

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park acrossfrom the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.Please use large double door at the side entrance.

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'

Friday, 30 January 2009

something in the air?

I don't know if this happens to anyone else out there? A day which starts at a normal pace but ends up completely frantic with one unexpected interruption and phone call after another?

Yesterday I had a 'home day' planned. I don't get many of these and I look forward to them because ( usually) I get loads done. I had a conference call booked at ten, then various telephone calls ( out) planned, a visit from a good friend for a cup of tea, and some jobs to get on with.

I should have known when the traffic lights on the way to school were acting in a bizarre way that the universe had some fun in store. We were stuck on red. The other way were stuck on green ( lucky for them). The workmen were looking on ( cups of tea in hand) with curiousity. Sigh. The other road to school is closed for resurfacing work....great planning as usual by our lovely council responsible for highways which is based an hour north, most of whom appear to be on the sherry when it comes to this area ( chief engineer are you listening?).

Anyway. I had a quick cuppa with pals then returned here for my home day. Then it started.

The phone would not make calls out, but would accept calls in. I had to do the conference call on the mobile. The call took an hour and a half. Bill- frightening thought.

The phone never stopped ringing all day. The land line and the mobile in a lovely duet of noise, from morning til close of play. Even people I hadn't spoken to you for years ( yes years). It was bizarre. I started laughing ( to myself) at some point in the day ( this is not a good sign I fear).

When my friend came round for a cup of tea, I told him that I had hidden both phones under a cushion and was going to ignore them. Guess what?


Today, I am going to the hairdresser. It is going to be a long appointment. The phone does not work in there. If it did, I would leave it in the car. I am going to read the paper and drink coffee and relax my frazzled brain.

By the way- hello to everyone who called yesterday. It was great to talk............

Wednesday, 28 January 2009

skinny bird

Fourteen days exactly and I have lost eleven pounds!

My good friend A now nicknames me the 'skinny bird'.

Not quite, not quite.....but hope springs eternal........

Thanks everyone for your kind words and support. The programme I am on is called Lighterlife -if you are interested click the link.

I went to class last night ( in Preston! An hour away but its worth it- I am determined) and we have started to think about why we think about food the way we do, and where we have got our beliefs and views from. Interesting stuff.

My primary motivation for doing this is- health, health and health. But.... am I looking forward to new clothes and skimpy underwear? Hell yes!

My good friend (and greatly missed now she has gone back) pal TM sent me this email all the way from the USA. I thought it was lovely.
In case you are not aware, Saint Theresa is known as the Saint of the Little Ways. Meaning she believed in doing the little things in life well and with great love. She is also the patron Saint of flower growers and florists. She is represented by roses.

'May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.It is there for each and every one of us.'

Monday, 26 January 2009

another week begins....

I have been on my diet for twelve days. I got weighed on Saturday and I have lost nine pounds. I am feeling very proud of myself! I am on a medically supervised VLCD ( very low calorie diet). The plan is called Lighterlife. I did a lot of research into it before I decided to do it. It is a big commitment and quite austere. The results are quick though and that is what you want when you have a lot to lose.
I am a serial bon viveur and now it is time to pay the fiddler. I do feel a lot better already, and look forward to a complete new wardrobe when I am too thin to fit into any of my current wardrobe.
Watch this space!
Off to Darlington for two busy days, and then my week three LighterLife class. Hopefully there will be lots of good news to report once again.

Signed- a trimmer Lakeland Jo

Saturday, 24 January 2009

Middle Age- controversy?

Middle Age- a definition for men and women.

Visit Nota Bene to read the controversy! Two debate provoking posts.

Friday, 23 January 2009

London Times Obituary of the late Mr. Common Sense

'Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who
has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was,
since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the
worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more
than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended
from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for
reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the
job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental
consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could
not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses;
and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a
burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to
realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in
her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his
wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now,
Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and
do nothing.

Thursday, 22 January 2009


Jan from Grand Lake Inc has interviewed me and here are my replies. Thanks for such great questions Jan.

At the end, you will see how you can be interviewed by me....

1. Where do you come from in Geordieland, and what caused you to move to the Lake District?

I was born in North Shields which is near the mouth of the river Tyne in the North East of England. I had many happy family holidays in the Lake District, and bought a property here in 1990. It was very exciting and after all this time it still is. I still can't believe I live here. When other half and I met we quickly decided we wanted to start our married life here for the quality of life, and because it seemed a wonderful place to raise a family. Lots of fresh air, beautiful scenery and very safe.

2. Tell us about a typical day in your working life?

What I love about my job is that there is no such thing. I never have the same day twice. Running our own business is very varied in its own right with many challenges and surprises, and what we do means we are always meeting and working with different people, with different needs. We run a training and development business, and work with a wide range of clients and colleagues. We specialise in Leadership, Management, Team and Personal Development. There is never a dull moment. I feel very lucky to enjoy what I do, and it is very rewarding.

3. Why did you choose Religious Studies for your MA?

I have always been fascinated by world religions, and other people's beliefs. I also wanted to understand my own faith better ( Christian). Tomorrow we start a class on Classical Islam.

4. Between your business, your studies, and taking care of a home and family, you are obviously a very busy lady. When you do have time to relax, and what do you like to do?

I love to be busy, and enjoy variety. I like to relax by spending time with my pals, especially over wine or coffee. I love travelling, shopping, blogging ( of course) and reading magazines.

When I need to re-charge my batteries I listen to hypnotherapy tracks on my cd: deep relaxation. Half an hour of hypnotherapy equates to a few hours nap.

I find my time at Church very calming. It grounds me, encourages me to be reflective, and I love all my friends there. They are from all generations. I really miss it when I don't go.

5. You are obviously very close to your mum, can you tell us a bit about her?

I am very lucky to have a great relationship with my mum. She is a private person so I had better not give too many of her secrets away! She likes shopping and coffee like me, she loves reading ( she always has quite a few books on the go) and rugby. She used to be an antique dealer, and ran her own successful business for many years. It's in the genes to be entre-preneurial!

Want to be interviewed by me? Here are the instructions:

1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."

2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. (I get to pick the questions).

3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions and let me know when you have posted it, so I can link to it.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Wednesday, 21 January 2009

Where is she this week?

I am in Corbridge this week staying over on business with mum. I am working all over ( and I mean all over) County Durham and Darlington. It is very hectic!
Only time to check a couple of blogs a day, make a couple of comments, then run off to the next meeting, the next appointment, answer calls or make them.
Having a great time though and enjoying every minute.
See you all for some chill out time on Friday when I have the morning off.

Sunday, 18 January 2009

Jealousy, Envy,Competitiveness.... etc

I love it when people comment on my blog. It is great to hop over to the blogs of new callers when they leave their name, and to hear from regulars too.

I popped across to Renie's blog and saw that she had thirty five comments on her last post - THIRTY FIVE!!

The most I have ever had is sixteen. I was excited by that, but now I realise I am hardly out of the starting blocks ( even though Renie does deserve every comment- her blog is great,and she is a friendly blog visitor too).

So, make my day. If you are visiting today please say hello. Don't lurk ( a blogging expression I believe), and even if you are visiting and don't have a blog, leave a comment if you can. I think all you need to do is register with google.

Renie- I am going for it!! As they say in Geordieland- SHY BAIRNS GET NOWT.


I was going to do this yesterday but it turned out to be busy.

I had a meeting at ten at Costa's to talk about a big work project.

I went to the local soft play ( Quayside kids) with my wonderful friend A and her gorgeous daughter ( who is my mini- me). While she bounced and ran around, we drank tea and had a good chin wag. What a combination: kids happy and getting fit, mums have peace and getting their jaws fit.

I went to buy a new handbag at a local farm shop ( a black Ameri- bag/ shoulder bag- have you heard of them?) with my mum. We had tea and chatted ( more jaw exercises!)

I went to get weighed. My diet started on Wednesday morning. I have lost four pounds. Hurray. It's hard work but at least I can still drink coffee.

I went to a birthday party last night at our good friends D and M. It was very jolly, even though I wasn't drinking or gobbling down the gorgeous buffet and sticky birthday cake. Bright side: you can still enjoy yourself without partaking, and we didn't need a taxi home. I could drive!

So, now that other half and teenager have gone to rugby, I have some peace to do my 'H''s.

Harrods- I could go every day. I would go for a cappucino in the foodhall, laze round the perfumes and cosmetics, lust after the fab handbags and leisure goods, have sushi for lunch, go and shop in the stationery department, have a look at the clothes. And the next day- do it all again.

Harvey Nichols - same again

Hagaan Daaz- pralines and cream. That is why I am on the diet perhaps?

Hearts- valentine's day is coming... and I love heart jewellery.

Husband- I love him to pieces ( even if he does support Man Utd)

Hypnotherapy a cd a day keeps stress at bay

Honey- healing and tasty

Hotel- Four Seasons in Paris. To die for.

Halloween- all that dressing up and fun.

HANDBAGS- my grand passion. For some folks it's shoes, clothes... for me its bags. Favourite brands Louis Vuitton ( but I don't have a bag sadly ....yet...) and Mulberry.

Health- I am so happy and blessed to have mine back, and I thank God every day. Carpe Diem.

Saturday, 17 January 2009

Letters Game- want to play?


I got this meme from Clippy Mat and Busy Bee Suz ( thanks gals). Clippy has give me O and Suz has given me H. Here are the rules, before I do mine.

1.Leave a comment on this blog and I will assign you a letter.
2. Write about ten things you love that begin with said letter.
3. Post the list on your blog.
4. When people comment on your list, you assign them a letter, and the game continues.

So.... letter O

1. Oba Martins- the wonderful NUFC player who does wonderful gymnastics when he scores. Other than Shay Given he is my favourite player. Injured at the moment. Oba- we miss you.

2. Orlando. I love that place. Have been lots and I can't wait to go back.

3. Olives. I really like an olive with a glass of wine, or on a pizza.

4. Oranges. Satsumas particularly. Have to be easy to peel.

5. Orient Express. Other half, are you reading this? I would love to go on a trip on this train.

6. Oscar Wilde. Always the source of a great quote.

"A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world"
There is an example, to ponder on.

7. Ollie Phillips. Rugby player and one of the most charming men I have ever met. Plays for the wonderful Newcastle Falcons.

8. Opal. My favourite aunt got me a wonderful pendant for Christmas to match the lovely earrings she got me last year. Note to self. Must do a photo!

9. Overbusy This is me, and this is the way I like it. Lots going on. I need to remember to chill out, rest and enjoy the moment though and I am so much better at doing this these days.
10. Overweight. But not for long, I have been on my diet for three full days!!!!

I will do H in my next post, after my breakfast!

Babies and Dogs

Folks.I am sure you all visit anyway but if you haven't been over for some reason, go and see the clip over at Busy Bee Suz, about the baby and the dog. It is fabulous!
I seriously thought of stealing the clip from Suz's blog but she's just too much of a cyber pal these days, so I am being nice. Enjoy anyway!

Friday, 16 January 2009

The computer

This really appeals, especially after all my computer problems since Christmas...

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'

A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?' Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation. The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2 The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on; 2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.

Thursday, 15 January 2009

something to consider

Something to consider

The ' L I T T L E ' Things .

As you might know, the head of a company survived
9/11 because his son started kindergarten.

Another fellow was alive because it was His turn to bring donuts.

One woman was late because her
Alarm clock didn't go off in time.

One was late because of being stuck on the NJ Turnpike Because of an auto accident.

One of them
Missed his bus.

One spilled food on her clothes and had to take Time to change.

Car wouldn't start.

One couldn't
Get a taxi.

The one that struck me was the man
Who put on a new pair of shoes that morning, Took the various means to get to work But before he got there, he developed a blister on his foot.

He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid.
That is why he is alive today.

Now when I am
Stuck in traffic ,
Miss an elevator,
Turn back to answer a ringing telephone ...
All the little things that annoy me.
I think to myself,
This is exactly where

God wants me to be
At this very moment..

Next time your morning seems to be
Going wrong ,

The children are slow getting dressed,
You can't seem to find the car keys,
You hit every traffic light,
Don't get mad or frustrated;
It May be just that
God is at work watching over you.

May God continue to bless you
With all those annoying little things
And may you remember their possible purpose.

Pass this on to someone else, if you'd like.
There is NO LUCK attached.
If you delete this, it's okay:
God's Love Is Not Dependent On E-Mail !!
(that's the cool part)

My mum's friend send her this and she sent it to me. I think it's lovely.

a new counter

I have installed a new counter. I was up to 2500 hits when the other one died on me. So I start again- sigh sigh.
I hope it gets up to lots and lots of hits again soon, and hope this one stays the course!!

sleepless in ......Darlington

Never again for this hotel, even if the staff are lovely. Last night I booked in here last minute after a meeting. I was put in the annex in a cottage room. I was happy with this because I was told 'it is a big room, and nice and quiet'.


  • The heating is broken. The radiators are dead. The porter came over to 'bleed' the radiators ( foul description) but no joy. Since I had unpacked I decided to put up with the heater they gave me which has as much heat as a cat's breath. Slightly more heat than the hairdryer though- if you blow on your hair it would dry quicker!! I don't like hot rooms, but no heating? And guess what- the temperature was below freezing. Sigh.
  • There was no tv remote. Another trip for the sweet natured porter.
  • The best had yet to come. At midnight the man upstairs came in to his room and it sounded like a football match being played on the floorboards. After a long talk with someone on the phone at what seemed like the top of his voice, he proceeded to wander around the room. At three am he was still at it. Why do people wander around all night? What are they doing?
  • I was so tired I couldn't be bothered to move to do anything about it, and I doubt there is anything that could be done ( either than move me with all my unpacked stuff to another room...).......
  • Astonishingly, I am now up ( and so is the lovely man upstairs-grrh) and feeling fairly bright. I managed to get a few hours ( earplugs- always in the bag), and tonight I will be in bed by half eight.

Have a great day folks!

Tuesday, 13 January 2009

Physician Heal Thyself

I was asked by BBC Radio Cumbria to talk about stress management today, as their expert! I was very flattered to be asked. It was short notice ( stressful....) and I was on for a couple of minutes giving wise responses to questions such as ' give us some tips for managing stress' and 'do you get stressed yourself then?'.
I was interviewed on the phone and it went out live. I haven't heard the broadcast. My favourite aunt heard it and a couple of my friends. They have said positive things, but I felt as if I sounded rambling and drunk!!
Anyway, it has been a busy and exciting day. Lots of positive stress. I need a good night's sleep now ( one of my tips) and some deep breathing.

Night all!

Monday, 12 January 2009

The counter is dead, long live the next counter

Thanks for all the feedback on my old counter. I have tried to re-load but the same problems kept re-occurring so I have deleted the whole thing.

Tomorrow, when I am having a better time with technology in general ,I will have another go at re-loading a new counter.

Not wishing to moan, but I thought I would list the problems I am having on technology and gadgetry in general at the moment. Is it something in the stars? Sigh

1. My laptop is still not fully recovered from the virus. I have permanently lost things, and my new firewall is too keen ( i.e: obstructive and time consuming!).

2. My mobile ( which I can't upgrade til end Feb ) has problems with the volume. Folk can hardly hear me speak ( it's a first). I need to send it away but the retailer I bought it from has no spare handsets and the sim card won't work in any other phone other than Motorola apparently.

3. My car is making a hideous noise: something to do with suspension springs requiring oil. Apparently it will take some big stripping down of the car affair which they can't do til next Wednesday. It is safe to drive but the noise gets some interesting stares from passers by. It stops making the noise once the car is going in a straight line over sixty miles an hour. Good to know.

4. My beloved IPOD ( bought when they first came out and probably a museum piece now, has stopped working completely). No audio books in the car, no restful hypno recordings to soothe the troubled mind, no music in the kitchen.

5. The tumble drier door has broken. Every time we need to get into it, another broken nail and bruised finger.


Thinking of taking holy orders. I wonder if they will have me?

Sunday, 11 January 2009

counter- missing!

My counter ( see right) has died on me! I can't see it on my laptop or on our desktop. Its a free counter so I am puzzled.

Can anyone out there see it or can you see the error message? ( little red cross)

If it has gone dead I will delete it and find another one- sigh!

Please let me know

Saturday, 10 January 2009

Saturday night at Lakeland Jo's house

An ancient sacrificial ritual?
An out of control barbecue in zero temperatures?

It all becomes clear... a bin fire in the garden to burn some paperwork.
More fun than shredding and a lot quicker.
Other half and I are fond of a bin fire now and again- it appeals to the pyromaniac in both of us.
I am now about to settle down to a lovely fire in the lounge with a glass of wine.
It is still very chilly here in the Lakes.

Thursday, 8 January 2009

Happy New Year from two snowmen in Bowness

Here are other half and teenager on New Year's day near lake Windermere at Bowness. It was a very cold day but beautiful as you can see.
I have told other half that this will be the last new year where teenager is smaller than his dad!
Watch this space in a year's time.
You can see a tourist boat behind them. The bigger ones don't run at this time of year, but the smaller ones are usually busy even in the winter.

Hadriana is a treasure

Visit Hadriana's treasures today which will undoubtedly be the best post for 2009 ( I know its only January).
It is about Geordies. Watch the Catherine Tate show clip about the nanny - priceless!
Remember their are only two types of people in this world: Geordies and people who wish they were.
Ower and oot as they say in God's own country.

Tuesday, 6 January 2009

Pandora bracelet

One of my favourite Christmas presents.,,.my Pandora Bracelet.

I am very proud of it. I wear it every day.

Left to Right

Teapot charm from my wonderful friend A. We have tea together and solve the problems of the world.
Football with blue cubic zirconia-from Other Half, chosen by me
A cross with blue cubic zirconia -from Other Half chosen by me
A rugby ball- from teenager

Now I can collect other charms as birthdays and Christmas comes along. Or Valentines? Other half are you reading this???

Wow-it's cold! Minus six

We had a wonderful day on New Year's Day. We walked up to mum's in the freezing cold and I took my new Christmas present (Sony Cyber Shot) out to take some photos on the way. It was very beautiful.

This is a on a walk up a back road between Bowness ( where we live) and Windermere.

The lake ( Windermere) looked beautiful, but then it always does!
It is still very cold - it hit minus six on my way across the A66 to Darlington this morning.

Monday, 5 January 2009

Yorkshire Puddings!

Inspired by Range Warfare's post on yorkshire puddings, my mum made some for us all to eat on New Year's Day. They were wonderful.

One complaint mum. Next time make twelve!



Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long.
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash he won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door.
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to 'how big is my behind?
'I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

Scroll down...


I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a golf course, and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.

The End

Facts to start the year with- fish scales in lipstick

Thanks to Lynda for this one, and for Poetry ( next post).

1. Coca-Cola was originally green.

2. The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

3. The name of all the continents ends with the same letter that they start with.

4. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

5. There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.

6. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard

7. Women blink nearly twice as much as men!

8. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.

9. It is impossible to lick your elbow.

10. People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you Sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.

11. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

12. The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.

13. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to Suppress a sneeze; you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.

14. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from History. "Spades" - King David; "Clubs" - Alexander the Great; " Hearts" - Charlemagne; "Diamonds" - Julius Caesar.

15. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

16. If a statue of a warrior on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has a all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

17 What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common? Ans. - All invented by women.

18. Honey - This is the only food that doesn't spoil.

19. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

20. A snail can sleep for three year

21. All polar bears are left handed.

22. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.

23. Butterflies taste with their feet.

24. Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

25. In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

26. On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.

27. Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'.

28. Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

29. The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

30. The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

31. The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

32. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.

33.. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

34. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

35. Most lipstick contains fish scales.

36. Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different

37. And finally 99% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.

Saturday, 3 January 2009

BS5 's blog post (Three!) has put me in reflective mood about my own 2008. It was really good. Why?

  • After 2007 ( annus horribilis) and ten months off sick, 2008 had a good chance of being better ....... a lot better..


  • My family are well and I love them all

  • Teenager is totally fab: I am so proud of him.

  • The business? We pulled off a blinder this year. At last: after all the years of hard work, we have success.

  • I laughed lots with my lovely friends

  • I found blogging and made lots of cyber friends ( thanks to Expat mum)

  • Mum and I discovered our second home: Corbridge!

  • I 'passed' the first year of my MA, met a couple of new lovely friends ( hello Travelling Typhoon and AB in Derry, Northern Ireland).

  • Other half and I went to Nice ( South of France) and had a ball.

  • Other half became an NLP trainer, and ran his first NLP practitioner programme which went really well

  • I have started to get better at FOCUSSING ON WHAT I DO WANT, RATHER THAN FOCUSSING ON WHAT I DON'T WANT. In 2009 I am going to keep working on this one: it's a great habit.

The Woodland Trust

Today I am doing lots of little jobs. I have started to tidy away my Christmas decs though I will leave my lovely sparkly tree up for one more night. I feel is if it has just gone up, and it looks as good as new.

I have been throwing out a few bits and pieces ( off to the charity shop), and recycling Christmas cards. I use one half for shopping lists throughout the year, and the other half goes to the recycle bin for cards at the local supermarket.

I didn't send a lot of cards out this year. The ones I managed to get sent out went early in December and that was it. Next year! I get mine from St Mary's Hospice in Ulverston. I notice that many of the cards we received this year came supporting the Woodland Trust ( about twenty of them in fact!). I decided to see what it is all about. Click on the link to have a look.
Teenager is happily playing monopoly with a friend. They are on to their second game and are still speaking. Amazing really!

Thursday, 1 January 2009

Fascinating insight in to a well known Christmas Carol

There is one Christmas Carol that has always baffled me. What in the world do leaping lords, French hens, swimming swans, and especially the partridge who won't come out of the pear tree have to do with Christmas?

From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were not permitted to practice their faith openly. Someone during that era wrote this carol as a catechism song for young Catholics. It has two levels of meaning: the surface meaning plus a hidden meaning known only to members of their church. Each element in the carol has a code word for a religious reality which the children could remember.

The partridge in a pear tree was Jesus Christ.

Two turtle doves were the Old and New Testaments.

Three French hens stood for faith, hope and love.

The four calling birds were the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John.

The five golden rings recalled the Torah or Law, the first five books of the Old Testament.

The six geese a-laying stood for the six days of creation.

Seven swans a-swimming represented the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit--Prophesy, Serving, Teaching, Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership, and Mercy.

The eight maids a-milking were the eight beatitudes. -

Nine ladies dancing were the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit--Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control.

The ten lords a-leaping were the ten commandments.

The eleven pipers piping stood for the eleven faithful disciples.

The twelve drummers drumming symbolized the twelve points of belief in the Apostles' Creed.So there is your history for today.

This knowledge was shared with me and I found it interesting and enlightening and now I know how that strange song became a Christmas pass it on if you wish.

Thanks to my favourite aunt for this one- fascinating!