What happened to January and February?

I know, I know it has been a bit of a long time no blog situation. In fact, I can hardly believe it is nearly March already. I haven't been posting very much at all. What has been going on Chez Lakeland Jo?

Looking at this picture ( taken September 2009) of other half and teenager, it is obvious lots has been going on ... for a start teenager is pretty much the same height as dad now!

Since January I have been struggling with sciatica. It is the most miserable condition. Are you familiar with it? I hope not but I believe it is very common. It started just before Christmas and got really bad during January and February. I enlisted the help of an osteopath to start with, and now I am seeing a sports therapist regularly and that has worked really well. It has made a big difference. His advice though was to go to a bio mechanical podiatrist. I am flat footed, uneven shouldered,and walk like a drunken sailor, which is apparently putting strain on my whole system, especially by back. Hence the pain and problems!

I need to get orthotics in my shoes, I need to work on my core strength. I need to improve my ( non-existent) fitness, and I need to lose more weight.

So, I am going to take Fridays off from now on. Having our own ( expanding) business this is a big and significant move. However, I need to be fit and healthy on the four days I am working, and investing time and energy on my body on Fridays seems like a damned good idea. So I am going to have a gentle gym session, some sports therapy, some fresh air and some pampering. That will be my Fridays from now on, and I will let you know how I get on.

So, managing my lack of sleep and the constant pain has battered both time and the creative muse. Hopefully I will be a more consistent blogger from now on. If we get some lovely spring weather now ( after the worst winter certainly in my memory) I will be flying.

Happy Spring to you all

If I were a ....................

I got this from GBerger's blog- I think it's great. I hope a few of you have a go. Thanks Karen



If I were a month I’d be October
If I were a day I’d be Friday
If I were a time of day I’d be morning
If I were a planet I’d be Venus

If I were a sea animal I’d be a dolphin
If I were a direction I’d be North
If I were a piece of furniture I’d be a big comfy sofa
If I were a liquid I’d be an elegant white wine

If I were a gem stone I’d be a diamond
If I were a tree I’d be a fir tree
If I were a tool I’d be a welding iron
If I were a flower I’d be a Rose

If I were an element of weather I’d be a sunbeam
If I were a musical instrument I’d be a clarinet
If I were a colour I’d be gold
If I were an emotion I’d be happiness

If I were a fruit I’d be a raspberry
If I were a sound I’d be a harp
If I were an element I’d be air
If I were a car I’d be a Jaguar

If I were a food I’d be shortbread
If I were a place I’d be Winter Park in Orlando
If I were a material I’d be cashmere
If I were a taste I’d be coffee

If I were a scent I’d be black cafe vetvyer ( Jo Malone)
If I were a body part I’d be a hand
If I were a facial expression I’d be a smile
If I were a song I’d be Jerusalem

If I were a bird I'd be a robin
If I were a gift I'd be a pandora charm
If I were a street I'd be Park Avenue in Winter Park
If I were a door I'd be open

If I were a pair of shoes I’d be sparkly and glamorous!

This is one of my favourite pictures of teenager. It was taken New Year 2009 when he was still thirteen and as I look at it I realise how much he has grown up in the last year. He really is quite the young man now. Full of independence and heading quickly towards being fifteen in March. The time goes so quickly.

For those of you reading with small children- enjoy them- it passes very quickly!

Tomorrow we are off to Edinburgh for a couple of days. We are staying in apartments. Other half and I will be there Monday and Tuesday but teenager will stay up there til Friday. He is staying with his school friend and parents who are up there all week. On Tuesday we are going out for dinner all parents together. Another family who we know are up there as well, another school friend of Pete's. The three teens want to go out on their own- parents left to drink wine.... someone has to do it.

I can't believe how little I have blogged so far this year. It has been very hectic with one thing and another. Mostly in a good way. Lots of business, interesting developments all over the place, mum's flooded bathroom sorted out ( and it looks lovely). Bad points- endlessly cold weather, bad ice, car problems ( don't get me started) and sciatica. What a nightmare that is. If you haven't heard of it-----------it's a horrible bad back condition.

Overall though this year is shaping to be a good one. Just need a few daffodils, and we will be all sorted!

Valentine's Cards

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged,
balding man standing at the counter methodically placing
"Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over
them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying
scent all over them.

His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the
balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says
"I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"

"But why?" asks the man.

"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.

The Black Bra

The Black Bra (as told by a woman)

I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends.
One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been
married for 20+ years.

We were chatting about our relationships and decided
to amaze our men by greeting them at the door
wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes.
We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.

Here's how it all went.

My engaged friend:
The other night when my boyfriend came over he
found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask.
He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams.
I love you..' Then we made passionate love all nightlong.
The mistress:
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was
wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and
mask over my eyes.. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word,
but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night.
Then I had to share my story:
When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra,
black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes.
When he came in the door and saw me he said,


"What's for dinner,Batman?"

Exercise for people over 40 years

EXERCISE FOR PEOPLE OVER 40

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side .

With a 5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can.


Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.


Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.


After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato bags.


Then try 50-lb potato bags and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I'm at this level.)




After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.