Monday, 27 September 2010

Where to start?

Where to start? Last time I posted I was under the weather with an infection. A lot of rapidly moving water has been under the bridge since. My lovely friend Bobbie turned up for a visit ( from the US) but after one day of her arrival it was clear that I was skating on thin ice as regards a possible hospital admission. Since I was due in hospital in London for more tests and scans the following week my GP suggested that a local hospital admission would 'put a spanner in the works'. Too stressful to contemplate. So I left my friend holding the fort with mum and teen,and other half and I came to London. This meant if I needed admission I could go straight to the Royal Marsden. Luckily I avoided admission and the tests and consultations proceeded as planned.
Bobbie, abandoned by me in the North, had a lovely time with teenager (her Godson) and my mum. Luckily she has since followed me down to London so I get to see her after all!
On Thursday I finally got the decision about the operation. It would take an age to explain why but the answer was No. Total devastation. I have never felt so wretched and low. However, remarkably and through the power of prayer and patience, on Friday the decision was reversed. Joy.Sheer joy.
On Wednesday the operation will go ahead. It will take 12-14 hours. It is very risky. They may not get all the cancer out. I will have quite a bit removed partially or totally. I will be in hospital a long time. Recovery will be slow. There are absolutely no promises. But I have been given a chance. That is all I have ever wanted. A chance. To see my boy get to eighteen. That is what I am focussed on. If I don't make it at least we gave it a go. Took the bull by the horns. I gave it my best shot. I have looked the cancer in the eye without fear. I will take my chances. I am at peace knowing I have done everything I can. Now I trust in God and what will be, will be.
Pray for me on Wednesday.

22 comments:

Maggie May said...

Oh..... the roller coasters of cancer, treatments and consultations..Up one day down the next...... I know only too well.
I am so pleased about the operation going ahead. You can rest assured that I will be praying for you.
I agree with you entirely. You will have given it your best shot.
That is the way I feel too.
I want to stay alive until my granddaughters have got to secondary school........ at least! I am needed just like you are.

Keep going girl! You are a tough lady. I hope and pray you make a speedy recovery.
Lots of Love and encouragement (and anything else you can think of!)
Maggie X

Nuts in May

Jinksy said...

I shall make sure I do just that! XX

Anonymous said...

Jo - pray for you on Wednesday? You are a total stranger to me - but rest assured, I pray for you nearly every day - not just this Wednesday :-) My godmother has a very similar kind of cancer to yours - and she has also undergone operations and extensive treatment. I keep you both in my thoughts. Best wishes, Irene (I've come over from Karen G's blog)

Nota Bene said...

I shall say a prayer and think of you all day. Good luck.

Busy Bee Suz said...

Oh Jo, I am so happy that you get this chance. I will continue to pray for you during this next phase.
Love that your good friend is there with you....I am sure you are feeling the love from her and your wonderful family.
I can't imagine the roller coaster you have been on...but you are strapped in well.
continued prayers my friend.
xoxoxxo
Suz

l'optimiste said...

This post had my emotions going up and down and all over the place. So glad you are getting this chance - and if anyone can beat this, you can.

Recovery may well be slow - but recover you shall.

On Wednesday we shall ALL be thinking of you - good luck, and see you Thursday...starting recovery.
x

karen gerstenberger said...

Dear Jo, I am so thankful that you are going to get what you prayed for: that chance. Your love, courage and selflessness are true and deep - much deeper and more powerful than cancer. I will pray with you, as I know many others will. Will start here on Tuesday night, as that will be Weds., where you are.

When Katie was taking IV meds, it comforted me to think of it as "liquid love and prayers," as the intentions of the researchers, doctors, nurses and technicians who all put so much love and desire for healing into making a drug designed to help us. The surgeons and their assistants have the same intentions: to see you well. I love knowing that all of our prayers are joining together for YOU. xoxoxoxo

Renie Burghardt said...

You have me teary eyed here, Jo. Love and lots of prayers coming your way today, every day, and especially on Wednesday.

xoxox

Irritatingly Optimistic said...

I will be praying for you and your family Jo. Your courage is a real inspiration to us all.
Gail x

Polergirl said...

Jo, I too have been praying for you every day.

Best of British for Wednesday, sending lots of love to you and your family.

Polergirl + Mr Man xxx

Bragger said...

You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Hoping you have good results and a speedy recovery. You certainly have earned both.

Sage said...

You will be in my thoughts and prayers, hoping all goes well and you come out the other side smiling. You are one gutsy lady and your strength is amazing xx xx

Brett said...

good luck for tomorrow

Clippy Mat said...

Jo: I just want to add my thoughts and prayers and comments to those that are already here. You know many people are willing you on and rooting for you. Good Luck tomorrow, God Bless and keep you safe.
Hugs,
Pat :-)

Maggie May said...

I am saying a prayer for you.

MsCatMinder said...

Your posts are so so optimistic . You deserve the best of everything . My thoughts are with you today xx

Xenia said...

You are in my thoughts and prayers today.

Snowdrop said...

You hold in there. I was thinking about you today.

Formerly known as Frau said...

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.((hugs))

Laurie Brandriet Keller said...

Sending love and prayer from The Prairie. Xoxo.

family Affairs said...

Just to let you know I'm keeping everything crossed for you. How brave you are. Lx

Hadriana's Treasures said...

Jo, I send you my hugs and massive best wishes for a wonderful recovery, Hadriana xx