Where to start? Last time I posted I was under the weather with an infection. A lot of rapidly moving water has been under the bridge since. My lovely friend Bobbie turned up for a visit ( from the US) but after one day of her arrival it was clear that I was skating on thin ice as regards a possible hospital admission. Since I was due in hospital in London for more tests and scans the following week my GP suggested that a local hospital admission would 'put a spanner in the works'. Too stressful to contemplate. So I left my friend holding the fort with mum and teen,and other half and I came to London. This meant if I needed admission I could go straight to the Royal Marsden. Luckily I avoided admission and the tests and consultations proceeded as planned.
Bobbie, abandoned by me in the North, had a lovely time with teenager (her Godson) and my mum. Luckily she has since followed me down to London so I get to see her after all!
On Thursday I finally got the decision about the operation. It would take an age to explain why but the answer was No. Total devastation. I have never felt so wretched and low. However, remarkably and through the power of prayer and patience, on Friday the decision was reversed. Joy.Sheer joy.
On Wednesday the operation will go ahead. It will take 12-14 hours. It is very risky. They may not get all the cancer out. I will have quite a bit removed partially or totally. I will be in hospital a long time. Recovery will be slow. There are absolutely no promises. But I have been given a chance. That is all I have ever wanted. A chance. To see my boy get to eighteen. That is what I am focussed on. If I don't make it at least we gave it a go. Took the bull by the horns. I gave it my best shot. I have looked the cancer in the eye without fear. I will take my chances. I am at peace knowing I have done everything I can. Now I trust in God and what will be, will be.
Pray for me on Wednesday.