Round two- over!

I am sitting early on Saturday morning, looking over the already pleasingly sunny and bright garden. Teenager is at a sleepover party ( I will never get used to it...) and other half is away to work today.

I am looking forward to a day of post chemotherapy rest. I have had another three sessions this week and that is the second one finished. I was very glad that my blood count was ok to go ahead this time as I was ready to get on with it.

It was not an uneventful week. Last time I had one of the chemotherapies ( cisplatin) in 2006 I had quite a serious allergic reaction to it. I ended up in hospital after the last dose. Unfortunately, the allergic reaction has started again, and after I had it on Wednesday I ended up with a puce face and a spreading rash. When I went in on Thursday they nearly admitted me but after some more drugs and observation I perked up enormously. I am much better now and look like a human being again, rather than something from out of space.

So, next time I will be going in as an 'in patient' the night after the cisplatin day so I can have IV anti- histamine and hydro -cortisone, and be observed. All lot more relaxing for everyone concerned.

Just another little interesting challenge. The fact I have been able to tolerate it at all is a miracle really so every cloud has a silver lining.

And now, I have at least three weeks of re-cuperation ahead. Today I will take it very easy. Maybe go out for a coffee with my mum and sit by the lake, and sleep this afternoon. I am storing up all my energy and strength for the Cartmel Race Meeting next weekend ( bank holiday). We are members of the race-course and it is a lovely happy family time with picnics and friends and lots of fresh air. I am determined to be there putting my bets on with everyone else. Let's hope for great weather.

reprieve!

I ended up not having chemotherapy this week. My blood count wasn't good enough. So I was told 'come back next week.......'. I quickly got my head around it. Another week with hair! Another week of feeling well. And most importantly the chance to spend my wedding anniversary ( sixteen years on Sunday) with other half, having a nice lunch and celebrating without feeling under the weather. Why would I be sorry?
Inconvenience, waiting around, disappointment, changing plans, being able to make very few plans at all, shock and fear all go with a cancer diagnosis. It is so important to take all of it and reframe it quickly. It takes time. It takes patience. It takes kindness to self. But it is important and liberating when you get into the hang of doing it.
I am used to having a busy diary, carefully scheduled, with logistics planned, hotels booked, alarms set and to do lists up to date. Suddenly it is all gone. Suddenly it all seems irrelevant. I thought I was in control, and now I laugh that I ever thought I was. And that it is part of the learning in all this- realising that none of us are. It really is just an illusion! So enjoying something about every day, however challenging that day is, is a good place to start. Getting used to 'going with the flow' and appreciating what you have right now, rather than what will be happening next week, is another good learning point. Especially for me. I concentrate on the moment. It isn't a habit quite yet,but I am getting there.
And all this resting.... and taking it easy, and listening to what my body needs. Different. Interesting.
So life is good here. Tomorrow I will be celebrating sixteen years of a very happy marriage with my lovely husband. We will have a lovely lunch somewhere with teenager, looking out over the lake. What could be better?
I hope you are all having a happy and sunny weekend.

Glenn Harrold

Regular readers may or may not know that my husband is a clinical hynotherapist and NLP specialist ( neuro linguistic programming). I am therefore completely bought into the benefits of hypnotherapy. I do a session every day with my IPOD and headphones.
I have been so pleased at how many people have tried and liked the Creative Visualisation book I recommended the other day, so I thought it maybe good to introduce Glenn Harrold who is a well known hypnotherapist and producer of 'off the shelf' hynotherapy solutions. These can be bought on CD or can be downloaded from his website. The above CD is one of my favourites and I think it is his bestseller.

Hypnotherapy is proven to help people achieve good states of relaxation.It reduces blood pressure, can help sleep patterns and also can help with states of motivation about particular goals, or can aid with phobias and so forth. It is well worth investigating. It is completely safe and can be done in the peace of your own home. The average track is about 30-40 minutes and is much more refreshing than a nap.

I am listening to specific healing tracks, and have one which boosts the immune system. When I lost a lot of weight I listened to weight loss and exercise tracks.

I hope you give it a go and get the benefits I have received from regular use.

To be young again

I could get down but I don't think I could get up again these days..............

Teenager and friends in Germany

My joy and inspiration always. I would walk a thousand miles for one of your smiles!

Creative Visualisation

I promised to start sharing books and resources which have helped or are helping me with my health issues. I would like to start with Shakti Gawain who wrote a great book called Creative Visualisation. It isn't specifically a cancer book- it can help anyone with any issue. It is a positive, uplifting and practical book and it really works well. Books such as this start giving you a strong feeling that you have some control when you feel as if you have very little. Getting control and choice back is such a key part of the healing and learning process I think. I often use the techiques described in the book. I like listening to guided visualisation hypnotic inductions on my ipod using headphones. Very very relaxing and enjoyable.

a favour- please publicise

What a great idea. Here's an advert for my good friend Sandhy's fairy cake fund raising party in Exeter, South West England. Please go if you can. Please sponsor her if you can. Please send her a note of encouragement ( we all can!).

And also, can you publicise the fundraiser and the blog to raise awareness.

Thanks folks- a very worthy and important cause.

Sandhy is a real inspiration to me.

Black Forest Gateau in the Black Forest

Son and heir sent us this picture of cake he had in Birklehof in the Black Forest. Real Black Forest Gateau laced with brandy apparently! And beside it a cup of hot chocolate......... how the other half live.........