Saturday, 15 May 2010

reprieve!

I ended up not having chemotherapy this week. My blood count wasn't good enough. So I was told 'come back next week.......'. I quickly got my head around it. Another week with hair! Another week of feeling well. And most importantly the chance to spend my wedding anniversary ( sixteen years on Sunday) with other half, having a nice lunch and celebrating without feeling under the weather. Why would I be sorry?
Inconvenience, waiting around, disappointment, changing plans, being able to make very few plans at all, shock and fear all go with a cancer diagnosis. It is so important to take all of it and reframe it quickly. It takes time. It takes patience. It takes kindness to self. But it is important and liberating when you get into the hang of doing it.
I am used to having a busy diary, carefully scheduled, with logistics planned, hotels booked, alarms set and to do lists up to date. Suddenly it is all gone. Suddenly it all seems irrelevant. I thought I was in control, and now I laugh that I ever thought I was. And that it is part of the learning in all this- realising that none of us are. It really is just an illusion! So enjoying something about every day, however challenging that day is, is a good place to start. Getting used to 'going with the flow' and appreciating what you have right now, rather than what will be happening next week, is another good learning point. Especially for me. I concentrate on the moment. It isn't a habit quite yet,but I am getting there.
And all this resting.... and taking it easy, and listening to what my body needs. Different. Interesting.
So life is good here. Tomorrow I will be celebrating sixteen years of a very happy marriage with my lovely husband. We will have a lovely lunch somewhere with teenager, looking out over the lake. What could be better?
I hope you are all having a happy and sunny weekend.

16 comments:

Irritatingly Optimistic said...

I love your positivity Jo. It's just such a shame it usually takes something like this to make us realise what is important.
You are in a beautiful healthy place so enjoy your weekend with your family and have lots of fun!

Trish @ Mum's Gone to... said...

Hope you have a lovely day. It's sunny here in Lincolnshire too and if I can get my 14 year old son out of bed, we may have a similar day.
(have found you via 'Expat Mum' - my second cousin I've just re-discovered)

l'optimiste said...

fantastic - what a great attitude. And a lovely photo.

Have a very happy anniversary!!

Decadent Housewife said...

Beautiful photo.

You are so right - things are never the same after a cancer diagnosis.

Wishes for a lovely anniversary celebration.

karen gerstenberger said...

Wishing you a very Happy Anniversary with your Other Half! A happy marriage is a HUGE blessing, and I'm so glad that you get to celebrate it without chemo on board. The next round can wait; it's time to celebrate!
I love your way of adapting. That will be so helpful to you on this journey.

We are going to be celebrating 19 years of marriage in a week and a half.

Pamela said...

Happy Anniversary! Your positive outlook is marvelous and something I admire very much.. Good Luck Jo and enjoy tomorrow. x

Snowdrop said...

It is important not to dwell on what's gone wrong and to focus on what is good in what is happening now.

I do hope you have a fantastic wedding anniversary and have been able to make the most of this beautiful time of year in the lakes.

We have just got back from a week in Keswick and it was fabulous.

Loopin said...

Congratulations on 16 happy years of marriage! Glad you're not battling the effects of chemo to celebrate.

tmmb said...

Since I'm assuming you mean Lake Windermere, I actually can't imagine a better day! Enjoy. Your attitude continues to inspire me.

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Expat mum said...

Jo has always had the most positive attitude I've ever seen in a non-dog! :-)

Maggie May said...

I am really pleased you had a reprieve, This happened to me once! Low blood count. The body soon rights itself. :-)
Maggie X

Nuts in May

Polergirl said...

Congratulations on your wedding anniversary!

Lovely photo. I hope you had a fab day. xxx

Grumpy Old Ken said...

Busy,busy,busy, but DONT think I'm not thinking of you. Lovely positive post.

Clippy Mat said...

congrats Jo. and thanks for the words of wisdom which puts things nicely in perspective. none of us are in control you're right. it's a complete illusion.
enjoy
:-)

Hadriana's Treasures said...

This is so true, Jo! Congratulations on the 16 anniversary years and more besides!

Hadriana xx