Friday, 6 March 2009

Bored men in Tesco supermarket

This letter was actually sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford:

Dear Mrs. Murray, Whilst we would like to thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of his actions over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened..

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could helphim, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave mealone?'

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

9. October 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.

10. November 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible' theme.

11.November 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.

12. November 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed,yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'

13. November 21: When an announcement came over the loudspeaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'

And last, but not least:

14. November 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'


Granny on the Web said...

It sounds too good NOT to be true, I bet there is someone really who has done one or all of these.
Sounds a hoot, I wish I had been there when it was going on.
Thanks for this LiW

Love Granny

Nota Bene said...

I so hope that's might make my next visit to Waitrose all the more interesting....

a pot, a thought & a smidgen of dirt said...

I agree, what a laugh, have visions of it happening at my local Asda's.

Gill - That British Woman said...

oh Jo that is so good, there are tears running down my face. I would love to use this at a later date if that's alright? I will of course link back to you?

The last one was the funniest.


Lakeland Jo said...

you are welcome to use it. Let's spread cheer around the world.

Renie Burghardt said...

Oh me gosh, Jo, am I glad I came by to catch up. This is hilarious. I can't stop laughing!