Thursday, 5 February 2009

Mothers

I thought this was fun. In fact, my mum wasn't like this at all.... well except for number nine. I do remember that one!!
Hi Mum!




1.?My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.?
> "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
> cleaning."?
>
> 2.?My mother taught me RELIGION.?
> "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."?
>
> 3.?My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL?.?
> "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
> next week!"?
>
> 4.?My mother taught me LOGIC?.?
> "Because I said so, that's why."?
>
> 5.?My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.?
> "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going
> to the shop with with me."?
>
> 6.?My mother taught me FORESIGHT.?
> "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."?
>
> 7.?My mother taught me IRONY?.?
> "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about "?
>
> 8.?My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.?
> "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."?
>
> 9.?My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .?
> "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"?
>
> 10.?My mother taught me about STAMINA.?
> "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."?
>
> 11.?My mother taught me about WEATHER.?
> "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.."?
>
> 12.?My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.?
> "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't
> exaggerate!"?
>
> 13.?My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE?.?
> "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."?
>
> 14.?My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.?
> "Stop acting like your father!"?
>
> 15.?My mother taught me about ENVY.?
> "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
> have wonderful parents like you do."?
>
> 16.?My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.?
> "Just wait until we get home.."?
>
> 17.?My mother taught me about RECEIVING?.?
> "You are going to get it when you get home!"?
>
> 18.?My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE?.?
> "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck
> that way.."?
>
> 19.?My mother taught me ESP.?
> "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"?
>
> 2 0.?My mother taught me HUMOR.?
> "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."?
>
> 21.?My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT?.?
> "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."?
>
> 22.?My mother taught me GENETICS.?
> "You're just like your father."?
>
> 23.?My mother taught me about my ROOTS?.?
> "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"?
>
> 24.?My mother taught me WISDOM.?
> "When you get to be my age, you'll
> understand."?
>
> 25. And my favorite:?My mother taught me about JUSTICE?.?
> "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!!!!
>

10 comments:

Busy Bee Suz said...

I remember a lot of those...my Dad used them too.
I am proud to say, that I only repeated a few myself. :)

Grumpy Old Ken said...

Very well thought out. I lost both my parents by the age of thirteen. I wonder where I picked up all my idiosyncracies from. Anywhere and everywhere I suppose.
Smashing blog.

Expat mum said...

Tee hee. Ticked off most of those. She also used to say she would "swing for me" which I took to mean that she loved me so much she would die for me. Bit of a disappointment when I learned the true meaning!

Expat mum said...

Just realised your blog looks different. Very nice!

Janet said...

This is so funny, Jo. I can relate to many of these expressions.

auntiegwen said...

Re no 25 I was a teenage punk, with black and pink hair, my poor mother was mortified. 2 years ago my teenage daighter became an Emo with black and purple hair, my mother nearly swallowed her false teeth laughing

ps she doesn't have false teeth really, it was just for comic effect

Sarah said...

Lol, that really did make me laugh...I recognise myself saying some of these! :)

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

Great post - nos 6, 10 and 22 sound very familiar! A

Marjie said...

I've said some of those a time or two myself. You missed one: "When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you."

Tismee2 said...

Soz Jo, I seem to have been slacking on your posts lately. Must check why you aren't on my update list.

I love this, I think my mum followed most of these as I remember being told every singe one of them!

You missed out the one about starving babies in Africa.