Friday, 23 January 2009

London Times Obituary of the late Mr. Common Sense

'Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who
has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was,
since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the
worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more
than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in
charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended
from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for
reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the
job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly
children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental
consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could
not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an
abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses;
and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a
burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to
realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in
her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his
wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now,
Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and
do nothing.

16 comments:

Granny on the Web said...

My husband and I have often tried to put this into words. This is brilliant. Everything is so true.
Have I your permission to reproduce this, and send it as an email?
Love Granny
(*!*)

Lakeland Jo said...

Hi Granny on the web

I am very happy for you to send it round. It was sent to me on an email with no author specified so I think its just 'out there' circulating.The more people who can see it the better I think. I think UK has been sleep walking into this state of affairs in the last decade and we need to wake up!!

Renie Burghardt said...

Someone sent me this in an email as well. It is sad news, but if we realize the great loss, maybe we can resurrect common sense again.

Nota Bene said...

Oh so spot on...very funny, but very sad-making too. Well done for posting it.

I shall e-mail all and sundry if I may

Busy Bee Suz said...

this is great and true.
we have joke around here regarding all the instructions on items..such as on a cereal bar that says open here. ??
I always say, gee, I am going to put this in my eye, because it does not say to NOT do it.
people are crazy...me too. just a wee bit.

Janet said...

It sounds like the UK has become as crazy as the US, a sad state of affairs.

Jess said...

So true, but also sad.

Have a good weekend!

cheshire wife said...

It is all so true!

Marjie said...

I fear Common Sense will not return in our lifetimes. It's just as bad here, in the land of the formerly free and the home of the lawsuits.

Hadriana's Treasures said...

Absolutely. Spot on. I am SO with you on this one. I love this country so much and I feel that it is being ruined - personally and financially. Do you think we can march on London soon? :)

Hogday said...

I've actually seen the following warning stamped on a US 66mm rocket launcher (don't ask how or where): "Point This End Toward Enemy". Come to think of it, now I've seen it in writing.......

Lakeland Jo said...

Hadriana- I will March with you. Shall we start in Jarrow again?

Hogday said...

Not strictly on this thread, but close. Marjie's comment prompted me to find this gem of an extract from a conversation in a US court of law between a lawyer and a pathologist:

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?!
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere.

Tismee2 said...

Thanks for this Jo I will certainly be sending it round my e-mailers.

I often find myself seething when reading news articles about people being 'offensive' to other races etc for trivial things like flying a national flag. How can a national flag be offensive???

I'm English (I'm ok about being British too!) and in my opinion if someone comes to live in MY country then they can bloody well live the way we do and if they don't like it then they can bugger off!

See, see - what it does to me????

You'd never see an American take down their national flag because some foreigner said they were offended by it!

Now I'm in a bad mood! I need to go and calm down.

Gill - That British Woman said...

this is oh so true, and this should be spread around, as so many people have forgotton what common sense is

Gill in Canada

Oma aka Meme said...

reminds me of dear grand daughter when I said that kids don't use common sense when cooking and she asked me what cupboard it was in---sigh-- hugs from Meme